Jokes

Posted on 23 July 2016


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny jokes updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Two Italian friends are talking to each other one evening.

Roberto says, "Tell me Geno, in all honesty, what do you think of a woman with a growth of black hair under her nose?"

Geno replies, "Hell no, I would never be turned on by a woman like that."

Roberto says, "OK, so tell me, what about a woman with big black hairs growing under her arms?"

Geno says, "For Pete's sake what are you talking about? I couldn't even have anything to do with a woman like that."

Roberto says, "OK but let me ask you another question. What about a woman with long black hairs growing on her legs, never shaves her legs?"

Geno replies, "Come on man give me a break, I would never get into bed with a woman like that."

Roberto says, "OK so answer me one last question, if all you say is true, why the hell are you screwing my wife?!!!"

-- Joke submitted by Selinder   [Jokes]



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When Ron first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.
But after several weeks, his penis had grown fifty centimeters.

Ron became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent Urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that Ron's condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.

"How long will Ron be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.

"Crutches? why would he need crutches?" responded the doctor.

"Well," said the wife coldly. "You're going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?"

-- Joke submitted by Pete_Ex   [Jokes]



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A lady is worried about the steroids she had been taking. When the doctor sees her, she says, "Doctor, I'm a little concerned about this medication you have been giving me."

He asks her, "What's the problem?"

She replies, "Well, I've been developing this hair on my chest." She unbuttons the first two buttons at the top of her shirt and shows a thick patch of hair to the doctor.

The doctor exclaims, "My goodness! How far down does that go?"

She replies, "All the way down to my new testicles!"

-- Joke submitted by VickyLoo   [Jokes]



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Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out.

Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you."

The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?"

Bob says, "OK."

Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?"

Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK."

Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up.

The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."

Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?"

The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I don't know, but I ain't touching it."

-- Joke submitted by Kromst   [Jokes]



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In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

-- Joke submitted by QQP   [Jokes]



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A couple had been divorced for about 6 months, but still remained good friends. This worked out pretty good since the both lived in the same apartment building. One day he slipped on the ice and broke his arm. Later he met his ex-wife in the elevator and she asked if there was anything she could do to help.

He responded, "Well yes, if it's not to much trouble, could you help me take a bath?"

She readily agreed, and soon after she began washing him she saw a gradual erection began to appear.

"Look John", she exclaimed happily, "It still recognizes me!!!"

-- Joke submitted by Spatch   [Jokes]



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A hippy walks into a Bar and Grill. The waiter comes up to him and asks him if he wants anything.

So the hippy says, "Yeah, a cheeseburger. Not too well done, not to rare, but right in the groove."

So the waiter brings his burger and asks if he wants anything to drink.

He says, "A cup of tea. Not too hot, not too cold, but right in the groove."

The waiter is getting pissed now, but he brings the tea and slams it on the table.

Little while later the waiter comes back and asks the Hippy if he wants any dessert.

The hippy says, "Yeah some ice cream. Not too chocolate, not too vanilla, but right in the Groove."

The waiter replies, "Why dont you kiss my arse. Not the right cheek, not the left cheek, but right in the groove!"

-- Joke submitted by Spatch   [Jokes]



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