Jokes

Posted on 21 April 2014


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny jokes updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Dave and Gary are having a conversation over drinks. Dave, wanting to inquire about Gary’s wife, asks, “So how is Betty taking her pregnancy?”

Gary answers, “Betty is not pregnant. She is expecting.”

Dave, intrigued, asks, “Hello! How is it different?”

Gary shoots back, “Well, When I return home from office, she is expecting me to cook dinner, she is expecting me to pick up the trash, she is expecting me to walk the dog, she is expecting me to wash the clothes…”

-- Joke submitted by Rebecca Nash   [Jokes]



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Wife: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"

Husband: "I was golfing with friends, my dear."

Wife: "What? At 2 a.m.?!"

Husband: "Yes dear, we used night clubs."

-- Joke submitted by xtern   [Jokes]



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A salesman was trying to talk a farmer into buying a bicycle, but was meeting with considerable sales resistance.

"Shucks, I'd sooner spend my money on a cow," said the farmer.

"Ah," replied the salesman, "but think how silly you'd look riding around on a cow."

"Humph!" retorted the farmer. "Not near as silly as I'd look trying to milk a bicycle!"

-- Joke submitted by Sam Johnson   [Jokes]



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Doctor Gonsalves asked his patient Santa Singh, “Santa, how did you lose 3 front teeth?”

Santa Singh replied, “Doctor, my wife had made very hard rotis (Indian bread).”

Doctor Gonsalves said, “So why didn’t you refuse to eat?”

Sardar Santa Singh replied, “That’s exactly what I did!”

-- Joke submitted by zips   [Jokes]



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Eileen's two-year-old great-grandson was excited about having his birthday in a few days. When asked how old he would be, he always said he would be four and held up four fingers.

His mother tried to explain that he would be three, that three came after two, but he wasn't convinced.

He told her that he had to be four because when he tried to hold up three fingers, the fourth came up too.

-- Joke submitted by Elaine Kimberly   [Jokes]



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