Jokes

Posted on 31 July 2014


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny jokes updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

"My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Oldsmobile, the tires from a Cadillac, and the exhaust system from a Plymouth."

"Really? What did he get?"

"Fifteen years."

-- Joke submitted by Leo Russell   [Jokes]



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The Old Professor poses the following problem to one of his classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his daughter, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his brother, and the rest to his wife. Now, what does each get?"

After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Pauly raises his hand and says, "A lawyer?"

-- Joke submitted by Lara Koch   [Jokes]



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A woman who had thrown a dinner party, at which raw oysters, curried lamb, and steamed mussels were all served, met her physician on the street the following day.

"I'm sorry you weren't able to come to my party last night," she said. "You are so busy these days, and I think it would have done you some good to have been there."

"Your party has done me good," he said. "I've just seen five of your dinner guests."

-- Joke submitted by Goofy   [Jokes]



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A landowner who was on his way to America, board the plane and went into business class and sat down. The attendants politely asked him to go to economy as that is where his seat was. The landowner refuse to barge saying that as the owner of the land where the airport is located, he is entitled to sit where he wants to sit. The attendants tried their best to move him but without success.

Then the attendants called one of the ground crew who is also from the same land-owning clan and explained the situation to her.

The ground crew went and whispered something in the Landowner's ear. Immediately the landowner stood and went to his allocated seat.

Attendant: "What did you tell him?"

Ground crew: "I told him that the seat he was sitting on does not go to America."

-- Joke submitted by Drua   [Jokes]



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One of the ladies assembled at the club was describing the wedding she had just attended:

"And then, just as Frank and the widow started up the aisle to the altar, every light in the church went out."

The listeners exclaimed over the catastrophe.

"And what did the couple do then?" someone questioned.

"Kept on going. The widow knew the way."

-- Joke submitted by Keira Tooker   [Jokes]



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